**Disclaimer: Prepare for an overload of Marvel references in this one. Sorry about that. I got a smidge carried away. Let’s just call it an extended metaphor, shall we?
I am no superhero, but I am a hero to someone.
With my one-year transplant-aversary coming up in the next few days, I am continuing to look back and reflect on my journey both before, during, and after the life-changing surgery. I call it life-changing because one of the happiest side effects of that day is the deep bond and friendship I now share with my Liver Twin and brother-in-law, Chris. Where once we spoke only a few times a year at family events, we now text multiple times a week. Chris has become my biggest cheerleader, always there to encourage me in whatever I’m doing. I have just a wee bit of guilt thinking about how I may have given instructions to my little sister NOT to become romantically involved with him. Thirty years later, I have a six-inch scar serving as a daily reminder that the goofy boy I once leveled a warning against walks around with a piece of me inside him. Talk about a relationship coming full circle.
It is because of our less than auspicious beginning that my brother-in-law often asks me ‘Why?’ Why did I make the decision to put myself on the donor list for him? And why, after learning I was the number one candidate, did I choose to go through with it? My answer has always been the same: I could not let my sister become a widow and my nephew and niece lose their father without trying to do something. But that is just part of the reason. In the year which has passed since the transplant surgery, I have thought about my real answers to these questions. And like a classic superhero, there is an origin which drives my story and my reasons.
If you are a fan of the superhero trope in movies and literature, each one has an origin story—a reason or a start to their power or motivation for seeking that power. I’m a Marvel movie geek, and my favorite is Iron Man. I always loved the idea that Tony Stark doesn’t become a superhero because of some freak accident or being bitten by something, but by simply using “human ingenuity” as George Marston states in his article, “Best superhero origin stories of all time”. For us Marvel comic or movie fans, Tony has a leg-up because he is born with intelligence beyond that of what most of us can even dream of. This intellectual superiority is most likely also the reason he possesses an overly self-assured personality. These two qualities together allow him to envision being able to create something as amazing as the Iron Man suit and the Arc Reactor in the first place. Iron Man is 100% man-made.
Like Tony, my strength has come from something entirely man-made. For me, my family is my power-source. I have a completely mundane life. It is utterly unremarkable, average, and ordinary. But my family has been the one thing that people from all walks of my life have commented on, marveled at, and even coveted. My relationship with my mother, father, and sister somehow lifts me out of the realm of boring and average and into the exceptional.
I understood from a fairly young age that I was a part of something special. That WE were something special, unique even. My pod of people is what powers my life. It is something we need to protect, to guard—as if the Tesseract is inside of us, inside this pod. And our pod has grown and morphed with new additions, spouses, and children. And like Black Panther’s suit, our unit takes that energy and stores it, growing stronger.
But what we learn about Iron Man and all the Marvel heroes is that they are best, they are strongest, when they are part of a team—when they come together as the Avengers—though I am smarter than Tony Stark because I knew that from the beginning. I knew each member of my team, bringing with them their distinctive skill or power-feature to make the whole stronger. Either way, the origin of my ‘powers’ begins and ends with my team. I would not have been able to consider donation without them, not just because of their support, but because I understood we are better at 100% of our capacity.
As we approach the one-year anniversary, and to continue this Marvel Avengers metaphor for a bit longer, I am not Iron Man trying to save the world; I am Tony giving Steve Rogers Captain America’s shield back in End Game. Our team can’t proceed unless we are at full strength. And though anything can happen in the future, when I had the chance to do something positive to help a team member, it didn’t make me a hero; I simply provided a solution to help us all.
I would like to give a shout out and a huge thank you to my immediate family—my team—the Guardians of my Galaxy—for this one I am giggling out loud—for my husband Chris (Drax the Destroyer), and my three amazing children Cole (Groot), Abby (Nebula), and Quinn (Rocket) for giving me the strength each day to make hard decisions and do difficult things. You are my world and my own personal superheroes!
Stay tuned as BIL and I will be launching our podcast, detailing our personal journeys, our friendship, and our (nutty) family! Please leave a comment on this post along with your vote for the name: In-lobes, Transplant-ish, Liver-n-Laws, or something you’re willing to volunteer on our behalf!
Everything Emily 
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